Silent Monk Joke

*First of all I will say this, so it isnt pleagurism. I got these jokes from a Reader's Digest magazine, which was published June 2009, and this jokes is on pg. 108of this magazine*

Every ten years, the monks are allowed to break their vow of silence to speak two words.
Ten years go by and it's one monk's first chance.
He thinks for a second before saying,"Food bad."
Ten years later, he says,"Bed hard."
It's the big day, a decade later.
He gives the head the head monk a long stare and says,"I quit."
"I'm not surprised,"the head monk says.
"You've been complaining every since you got here."

Dumb Blonde Joke

*First of all I will say this, so it isnt pleagurism. I got these jokes from a Reader's Digest magazine, which was published June 2009, and this jokes is on pg. 107 of this magazine*

A ventriloquist is performing with his dummy on his lap. He's telling a dumb blonde joke when a young platinum haired beauty jumps to her feet.
"What gives you the right to stereotype blondes that way?" she demands.
"What does hair color have to do with my worth as a human being?"
Flustered, the ventriloquist begins to stammer out an apology.
"You keep out of this!" she yells.
"I'm talking to that little jerk on your knee!"